... it probably seems like nothing's wrong.
Due to a proposal that would allow me to slowly achieve my creative side, I think I'd be far worst off than I am now. What will become of that I am not sure, but I have far too much talent to let go to waste. It's all I have going for me, since I fail at the rest of life.
Sunday was terrible, the whole period of time prior to that was rough, that facade like I don't care but do care is slowly thinning. I know where I stand on how I feel, it just sucks a rational conversation couldn't of been had in person.
I was happy before this and I will be after this blows over. It's not until that split second where you cut your self so deep, you're just left with a gaping wound, without no one there to help you patch it up. You taste that bliss for what it was worth and maybe realize you should have opened up way sooner.
Wait it out or cut your losses, my whole life I wait for something to turn around, and it never does, memories become fleeting, feelings get buried, faces get blurry. Losses will not be cut though, this is far to great to run from after thinking about it, far to great to burn. This will just exist, suspended in time.
I'm sorry, I haven't felt this way in forever, and this was the first time I took something slow on the come up. Maybe if I didn't, I honestly would have let you in faster, and maybe it wouldn't of been so hard to figure me out, and maybe if you did allow yourself to take it slow, and get on my level, then maybe it would have it hit you like a truck. Truth.
Good luck on your en devour, maybe one day you'll realize you don't have to push for something so hard to regain something you have lost, and maybe I'll realize I should open faster than I do to regain that in which I have lost. Only if I could have told you how I really felt back in the start, only that I was too scared, and only cause I over analyzed so damn much.
There was a lot to learn from each other, and a lot that still could be learned, but the ink faded faster than it could be read.
