if the shoe fits wear it, if the truth hurts bear it...

You would think by now I'd stop playing with denial, or just accept the truth. When you've been graced with warm air in what some to be ages, you take that warmth for granted. Suddenly in a blink of an eye you realize it gets cold again, and even your own icy walls start to reclaim themselves.

My theory is ice can turn back to water, but a fire so hot, could never go back to steam, you'll just burn yourself worst than you ever did, because the fact is, you know your setting your body a blaze, full well knowing it.

I guess this is where the whole difference lies, and real honest life experiences make what it is, what it really is.

When something changes, and even if its just one of the parties that initiates the idea, you know it could never be something that it will, or once was. There were reasons for the decisions, and for the actions that took place that closed the whole idea, and made way for things along the process. Eventually bringing it all to a sad state of affairs.

This is where I will pride myself, and safely say, I know why I could grow as a person, and learn from faults that hindered me and set me back. Well at least within the realm of the issue I'm currently blogging about.

Personally I would always take from the greater sum of two things, and work with that, allow it to show me things, allow it to reshape me, as I were to learn from the history of the lesser.

In the end though, if your asking yourself if you deserve either flavor of water, weigh the right things, the things that matter, and maybe you'll realize you deserve one or vice versa. If this is something you can't do, neither deserve you, and you don't deserve to wet your mouth either.

Regardless you'll choose the least flavorful and realize how great the other tasted, as that old flavor starts to sour again.

Only in hopes if you choose the current glass, you should still realize how great it taste, and how great it could become. Maybe then you'd realize after a long while how bitter and sour the other really tasted. That truly you no longer needed it to quench your thirst.

Too bad people don't realize what was, and only gauge the good things that were there, not even taking into consideration any negative that eventually put them in the position they are in now.

We all make mistakes, that's life, we should learn, stop denying, and accept what is in front of our eyes, not something we only wish to be a reality, and something that only comes back, when there previous cards have all but been busted. There is a reason why that hand was drawn.

At this point, all that is said will not be translated, you've been swindled by a feeling so tantalizing, so great, and so wrong. So much you deny a garden that could be bursting into life.

It is now, at this point, I'll slowly become my own best friend.

rainbows...

kneeling at this hour glass of time, I accept what has become, knowing beyond the storms that plague these shores, are endless serene blue skies, where the clouds are like heaven, and seagulls soar through the warmest of the sun, where bans of sunshine graces my golden skin, it its there i breathe, it is there i give in. finally i rejoice in life.

a glass barely full...

I'm just rift raft and I keep floating on and on, I've been a drift for what will soon be two years. It's so sad it's so true, I literally let what would have been two very productive years pass me by.

If I told you my life story, you would be telling me how much of an idiot, how much of a let down, how much wasted talent, potential, I really was, and really am.

I'm lost, I'm still lost, I find comfort in the smallest of things, and I've been running, running scared away from what I need to be.

Life, well life was better at sixteen, it was so carefree, I really need to act my age, it truly breaks my heart to reflect on what could have been.

I need to stomach the truth and accept what needs to be, what I still can be, but it's so fucking hard, I really need to bite the bullet, I've accepted my faults, it's been long overdue to tackle and take care of it.

I've become everything I never dreamed to be.

I guess the purpose of this blog is to generate a sense of will power, to generate the motion and balance from allowing me to further sink.

I will overcome this, and I shall succeed, because I have the very means to.